Killer's Page

Who the hell is buying “replica watches” from adds stuck into blog comments?  I really want to know.  Someone must be doing it, because I continuously get about fifty comments a day caught in my spam filter from people commenting about “replica watches” and more specifically where you can buy them.  For the record, if I wouldn’t wear a REAL Rolex, why the hell would I buy a fake one? 

There is also a large number of people offering stock tips through my blog comments.  I’m not exactly Warren Buffet.  It would probably better benefit them to pick someone who actually knew how to buy a stock.  If I was to buy even a single share in a company, let’s say in McDonald’s, I would be a total jack ass about it.  I would laminate my stock, I guess they give you some sheet of paper proclaiming your owner ship, take it to the nearest McDonald’s and demand my Apple Pie be made fresh...immediately...and smile damn it!  Don’t you see I own your ass. Then I will probably laugh like some mad man while waving my laminated single share.  If I bought a couple of thousand shares...man, I would probably just move in and sleep in that giant, e-coli infested, pit of balls in the playland.

At least the plethora of Viagra, Cialis, and penis enlargement medications seem to be a valuable product and make me think the spammers are targeting me properly.  All I am asking for is a little thought in my spamming.  Don’t just throw a bunch of shit against the wall to see what sticks.  However, if I was interested in purchasing some penile enhancing or virility inducing medications, I would not be ashamed and try to get it online.  I would proudly walk into my doctor’s office and loudly proclaim, “Doc, I’m getting some action...a lot of action...so much action that I can’t get enough erectile satisfaction to keep up with it.  You had better give me some sort of magic pill to better enable me to pound out all this sweet va-jay-jay that is being tossed at me like cheap beads at Mardi Gras.” I would then take said prescription to the biggest, busiest pharmacy around, grab a 36 pack of condoms (in assorted colors), the biggest bottle of tingling lubrication available and carry it all up to the counter to fill my prescription by puffing out my chest and saying, “Guess what I’ll be doing tonight....TWICE!”

Do you remember around 4 months ago when I went to get a pedicure and gave the dude doing the pedi a major flash of crotch? I finally got my nerve up and went BACK to the same place (it’s RIGHT up the street) Tuesday afternoon. I felt pretty comfortable. I am almost certain the man did not recognize me. I felt secure and relaxed and enjoyed the experience.

Until I left the salon and got into my car and realized the button across my chest was undone!

I’m not kidding. This is TWICE- the only two times I’ve been to this place- that I have exposed my unmentionables to this Vietnamese guy.

Valerie says the guy is going to think I’m after him and that next time I leave the salon I’ll find a note on my car.

I said that I agreed and that the note would read “Whore, leave my husband alone”.

Okay, my posting has become more and more slack.  I am in the process of opening a new business and it is kicking my ass.  For any one who is contemplating this move...the beginning stage is very frustrating and it sucks the life out of you. 

Killer Rants w/Liz is down, but not out.

I hope to be back in the blogging mood soon, and might still post sporadically for the time being.

Plus, there is always Liz.  She is known for taking long stretches off inexplicably, so keep she might be posting regularly and it just seems to be a big break.

Please keep us in your feed reader, and if you don’t use a feed reader...how the hell do you keep up with the blogs you read?  Do you just click on them randomly everyday?  That seems very inefficient.  You should work on that.

Right now many of you have seen that I posted and came here from your feed reader to see what I deemed worthy to crawl out of my hole to blog about, only to find out I am telling you I am not going to post.  I don’t blame you for being pissed off about that.

I LOVE this concept.  The world is finally catching up with my ideals.  This is exactly how I like my dates, and I would be willing to pay by the pound...usually.

It is sad when the funniest thing I have seen in a long time is a Family Guy skit.  Plus it involves a dead frog.  I don’t really understand what it is about this that I find so funny, but it makes me laugh out loud.

I usually even think they carry a scene on too long, but this one is just hilarious.  Sorry to all you frog lovers.